Coexisting in both the real world and in dreams
Our sweet baby. God’s precious gift to our world. I will never be deserving of the gift of you. When I first became pregnant with our daughter, I must have questioned a thousand times what I could have possibly done to deserve her. I fought so much guilt because of it, after having dealt with... Continue Reading →
The Beginning of Our Family January is a month that represents so much for our sweet family. Not only has it been a month of complete heartache and distress, as it was in January 2017 that I first found out about my troubles with infertility, but it ended up being the month that changed our... Continue Reading →
Vacant Horizon You are good. I’ve spoken these words too many times to count over the last few years. Too many times to count, I’ve spoken them recently in a state in which I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude for what our God has chosen to give us—in spite of all the bad news and the... Continue Reading →
Since we found out I was pregnant in late January, I have been navigating an overwhelming surplus of emotions. Amid wrestling sheer disbelief in what my eyes and body were telling me, I also struggled with an immense amount of guilt that is embarrassing to even admit given the fact that we had just received... Continue Reading →
When Foster Placements Fall Through I am standing in front of a room that I've just spent the last day and a half getting ready for a little boy—looking through drawers, digging through the closet, sorting through toys to see which are age appropriate and which should be put away because he won't need them.... Continue Reading →
I've already cried over the goodbye multiple times. Actually, I cried over the goodbye within the first ten minutes of meeting the boys. As soon as that sweet little five-year-old boy looked at me as I held his crying baby brother in my arms and told me he wanted to take care of him, as... Continue Reading →
A Likeness of Gideon Starting fertility treatment was a terrifying thing. Not only was I going to be putting my body through an incredible amount of stress, but upon agreeing to try three rounds of fertility drugs, I was opening up my mind to a whole new world of possibility, and opening up my heart... Continue Reading →
The Song and the Sermon It's hard to predict the kind of things that are going to set me off. I never know what kind of things are going to prompt that hateful, pulsing lie that's become a part of me, the one that's been buried deep within me since I first found out we... Continue Reading →
The Light in the Window I had a dream that God was standing beside our bed in the middle of the night, watching over us as we slept. I always close our curtains at night, yet when I opened my eyes, the curtains were drawn open. I couldn't see God standing beside us, yet somehow,... Continue Reading →
This is Infertility Seven years ago, we reconnected. It didn’t take long for us to fall in love. We were so alike that it didn’t take much; we just simply fit together. Three years ago, we were married. It was the easiest transition of our lives. Some people say the first year of marriage is... Continue Reading →
