Our sweet baby. God’s precious gift to our world. I will never be deserving of the gift of you. When I first became pregnant with our daughter, I must have questioned a thousand times what I could have possibly done to deserve her. I fought so much guilt because of it, after having dealt with... Continue Reading →
A Brief History of Januaries
The Beginning of Our Family January is a month that represents so much for our sweet family. Not only has it been a month of complete heartache and distress, as it was in January 2017 that I first found out about my troubles with infertility, but it ended up being the month that changed our... Continue Reading →
A Series of Promises, Part IV
Vacant Horizon You are good. I’ve spoken these words too many times to count over the last few years. Too many times to count, I’ve spoken them recently in a state in which I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude for what our God has chosen to give us—in spite of all the bad news and the... Continue Reading →
Emotional Surplus: Navigating the Many Emotions of Infertility, Foster Care, and Pregnancy
Since we found out I was pregnant in late January, I have been navigating an overwhelming surplus of emotions. Amid wrestling sheer disbelief in what my eyes and body were telling me, I also struggled with an immense amount of guilt that is embarrassing to even admit given the fact that we had just received... Continue Reading →
The Time We Were Almost a Family of Three
When Foster Placements Fall Through I am standing in front of a room that I've just spent the last day and a half getting ready for a little boy—looking through drawers, digging through the closet, sorting through toys to see which are age appropriate and which should be put away because he won't need them.... Continue Reading →
Why I Was Afraid of Foster Care, and Why I’m Not Anymore
I've already cried over the goodbye multiple times. Actually, I cried over the goodbye within the first ten minutes of meeting the boys. As soon as that sweet little five-year-old boy looked at me as I held his crying baby brother in my arms and told me he wanted to take care of him, as... Continue Reading →
A Series of Promises, Part III
A Likeness of Gideon Starting fertility treatment was a terrifying thing. Not only was I going to be putting my body through an incredible amount of stress, but upon agreeing to try three rounds of fertility drugs, I was opening up my mind to a whole new world of possibility, and opening up my heart... Continue Reading →
A Series of Promises, Part II
The Song and the Sermon It's hard to predict the kind of things that are going to set me off. I never know what kind of things are going to prompt that hateful, pulsing lie that's become a part of me, the one that's been buried deep within me since I first found out we... Continue Reading →
A Series of Promises, Part I
The Light in the Window I had a dream that God was standing beside our bed in the middle of the night, watching over us as we slept. I always close our curtains at night, yet when I opened my eyes, the curtains were drawn open. I couldn't see God standing beside us, yet somehow,... Continue Reading →
When Grief Shakes You
This is Infertility Seven years ago, we reconnected. It didn’t take long for us to fall in love. We were so alike that it didn’t take much; we just simply fit together. Three years ago, we were married. It was the easiest transition of our lives. Some people say the first year of marriage is... Continue Reading →