Coexisting in both the real world and in dreams
Our sweet baby. God’s precious gift to our world. I will never be deserving of the gift of you. When I first became pregnant with our daughter, I must have questioned a thousand times what I could have possibly done to deserve her. I fought so much guilt because of it, after having dealt with... Continue Reading →
The Beginning of Our Family January is a month that represents so much for our sweet family. Not only has it been a month of complete heartache and distress, as it was in January 2017 that I first found out about my troubles with infertility, but it ended up being the month that changed our... Continue Reading →
Vacant Horizon You are good. I’ve spoken these words too many times to count over the last few years. Too many times to count, I’ve spoken them recently in a state in which I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude for what our God has chosen to give us—in spite of all the bad news and the... Continue Reading →
Since we found out I was pregnant in late January, I have been navigating an overwhelming surplus of emotions. Amid wrestling sheer disbelief in what my eyes and body were telling me, I also struggled with an immense amount of guilt that is embarrassing to even admit given the fact that we had just received... Continue Reading →
It’s been easy for me to forget that we have so much to be thankful for. Although 2018 was filled with beautiful destinations and adventures in foreign places, with countless laughs shared with each other and many family and friends, with working hard to achieve new goals, and with exploring the uncharted territory of welcoming... Continue Reading →
When Foster Placements Fall Through I am standing in front of a room that I've just spent the last day and a half getting ready for a little boy—looking through drawers, digging through the closet, sorting through toys to see which are age appropriate and which should be put away because he won't need them.... Continue Reading →
As another year of this crazy, awesome, unpredictable, scary, exhilarating thing I call my life comes to a close, I find myself yet another year speechless and amazed as I watch the glowing flames melt the shining wax on twenty-seven birthday candles. I can honestly say that despite the array of ups and downs that... Continue Reading →
A Likeness of Gideon Starting fertility treatment was a terrifying thing. Not only was I going to be putting my body through an incredible amount of stress, but upon agreeing to try three rounds of fertility drugs, I was opening up my mind to a whole new world of possibility, and opening up my heart... Continue Reading →
The Song and the Sermon It's hard to predict the kind of things that are going to set me off. I never know what kind of things are going to prompt that hateful, pulsing lie that's become a part of me, the one that's been buried deep within me since I first found out we... Continue Reading →
The Light in the Window I had a dream that God was standing beside our bed in the middle of the night, watching over us as we slept. I always close our curtains at night, yet when I opened my eyes, the curtains were drawn open. I couldn't see God standing beside us, yet somehow,... Continue Reading →
